The winner of the sixth annual Wergle Flomp Humor Poetry Contest was announced today. The contest, conducted by Winning Writers, seeks to raise awareness of vanity anthology publishing schemes by "mak[ing] light of the low standards of widely publicized free poetry contests sponsored by Poetry.com (Owings Mills, Maryland), the Famous Poets Society, the League of American Poets, and similar organizations."
Erica Angle-Newman of Alta Loma, California will take home a cash prize of $1,359 for her poem, "Pumpernickel: A Poem Written in Mock-Shelley," along with the undying renown of following in the footsteps of the original Wergle Flomp, poet David Taub, who went to heroic lengths in his (unsuccessful) attempts to get Poetry.com to send him a rejection slip. There are also second and third prize winners, and twelve Honorable Mentions.
Do check out the winning poems--they're hilarious. As a teaser, here's the last two stanzas of Ms. Angle-Newman's winning entry:
I ran out of the house—she had stopped in the lane
To roll down her window and scream at me, "Jump
Back Jesus! Letting kitties out in this street is insane—
But don't worry dearie, he felt but a bump."
Then she tossed out rouge samples, saying, "Now don't complain.
The kitty's kitty spirit will transcend the kitty lump."
And if this is true, then this new star tonight
Familiarly flicks like tail triumphant out in space.
I'll name thee Pumpernickel. Shine! Flick your light!
Among the kitty-littered stars, you now hold your place.